I’m a dream chaser, a go getter, and someone who truly struggles to sit still. Rarely will you find me without a pencil or pen in hand, annotating, and finding other projects to dive into. I get excited about ideation, launches, and seeing resources transform the lives of people around me. However, can I tell you something? As a dream chaser, at times where my dreams have taken me far and I’m left running on fumes. There are moments where energy to accomplish projects is available and other times it’s absolutely draining. It seems that life is moving at a constant pace.
There’s beauty behind chasing your dreams. There’s freedom, the fluidity to travel and explore, taking work with you wherever you go. As someone in their 30s, to many, I have it made. I can work from my yoga pants and my hair in a top knot from the comfort of my own couch. I get to manage my schedule and have flexibility with my time. Then there’s the other reality. It’s the late nights, the constant deadlines, lingering emails and telephone calls. It’s the nagging thoughts that you are the one who determines your income and it’s rate of increase. As you say yes to rest, you’re simultaneously saying no to paychecks, not necessarily knowing when the next paycheck will come in. It’s a reality that very few entrepreneurs talk about. We talk about live the life you want. You’ll hear it said, “If you find a job you love, it will never feel like work a day in your life.” Trust me. It’s work. Lots and lots of work. Nothing is done without thought and attention to every single detail. As it is something I dearly love, there’s much of my life that is curated, generated specifically for the public eye and not much else. While I live in a stunning area and am surrounded by mountains that I love, my days are mostly filled with offices, balancing a few full-time gigs. As much as look to other bloggers around me, I’m quickly learning that without a team it just feels next to impossible to keep up.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s a life I love. I love the life I have created, the way it transforms others, but it has come at cost and sacrifice. I am a dream chaser by nature. Someone who lives and breathes creativity. I’ve been told that life is one of tension. Tension of possibilities and impossibilities. Tension of reality and supernatural. The seeing of your present state in front of you and know there are far better things ahead. It’s the grit and the beauty of it all. As I was preparing for a recipe post this weekend, I began to dry out rose petals as a garnish. Upon dismantling the rose and separating the petals, I quickly realized there were bits of the flower where pollination once occurred. Ugly and filled with dirt, this added nothing to the flower’s appearance or beauty, yet it was the very thing that provided it’s growth.
Dreams are full of grit and beauty. With every post, there’s putting yourself out there again, choosing to show up on the stage of life. As I write this, I’m aware that it feels conflicted. There’s moments where it feels strange to type. A foreign vulnerability that isn’t shiny and something very few bloggers talk about. When your life can always become content, everything you do can be turned into the next post or big idea. Knowing how to have boundaries and bring an authentic voice to the blogging space are more important than ever. With every form of creation, there’s seasons of grace and ease. In other moments, there’s pushing through and choosing to finish strong. It’s choosing to show up, serve, and persevere regardless of how you feel that morning. It’s an act of bravery, facing your critics and hoping simultaneously to find your tribe, that your voice will resonate deep within the heart of others. This Monday, choose to take a deep breath and take it all in. The tension, the newness on the horizon, the impossibilities before you, and face the grit and beauty of it all.
Here’s to the grit.
Here’s to the beauty.
May you grow and flourish in the tension.