Sacrifice. There’s something about it. While none of us would ever want to sacrifice, feel expected to do so, or find it demanded of us, our heart longs for more. We fall in love with stories where the hero, the underdog, sacrifices for the good of others. We support artistans and spend a bit more money on premium made goods to provide a living wage to others. Our justice heartbeat partners with non-profits and charities who awaken us to the realities of injustice, and have sacrificed their lives and ambitions to stand with the marginalized and the broken. We are enthralled with the stories of everyday lives where life is given generously to others at great cost.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about the times when my life had tremendous cost.
I’ve asked myself, “Is it was worth it?”
My answer has always been “yes.”
Some would call it “the hard knocks” of life, but with those circumstances I found that if I wasn’t focused and centered in my life and faith, they could easily knock me to the floor. Many times, it almost did. However, tonight I found myself in a room full of people, and reflected. In all the moments where I sacrificed, where I made incredibly costly choices, something beautiful emerged. I discovered hope, joy, delight, authenticity, vulnerability, and courage.
Sacrifice isn’t ever easy. It’s painful. It’s humbling. It can bring out the very worst in us, yet can also reveal the gold within us. It’s the beauty of paradox. G.K Chesterton writes about it and says it is the pinnacle and redemptive story of my faith.
Life right now is reminding me to find the beauty in sacrifice again. I’m struggling through it. Most days I don’t want to. I’m stubborn. So instead tonight I reflected. On the hard things, on the cost, on the moments where I didn’t know what was going to happen or if there was hope in the circumstance.
Sacrifice led me to give my life away at the age of 7.
Sacrifice led me to leave my hopes and ambitions of attending a major art school at the age of 14.
Sacrifice showed me how to face illness after illness with grace and integrity.
Sacrifice led me to resign from a job with benefits, a salary, and a 401K at the age of 22, leaving me unemployed and living with my parents.
Sacrifice led me to 10 months of unemployment.
Sacrifice moved me to the opposite side of the country, praying for restoration in friendships, and starting over.
Through it all, it was all worth it. The risk, the cost, the tears, and the sleepless nights, they were all worth it. It leads me to trust that it will be over and over again.
May you find the beauty in sacrifice.