Getting Real: Behind the Lens and the Feed

This time it was different. There wasn’t pressure. The pressure to do things for others, for readers, or for significance had dissipated. I wasn’t concerned this time. Due to a much needed break and full schedule with contacts in SoCal, this travel season was focused. Much like a laser, the focus was singular in nature and free from distraction. You might have noticed some silence in this space because of it. After a few days of traveling and sleep deprivation, I discovered I needed to take a slight hiatus from the daily grind around here. For the first time in a year and a half, I took a week-long break.

What did it bring? Some much needed clarity and reflection. When I started this space, I wanted to have an honest voice and bring something fresh to the Internet. With the same clients on retainer, I longed for a space where I could create and explore. Where I could share things that I loved and that would resonate with others. This space became an outlet, a labor of love, and discovery of new passions and interests. Since returning back to school, I have found that this space, once an inspired dream where creativity could flourish, recently has felt more like a demand and drain on my time, rather than the beauty and curated nature I desired. As collaborations and side projects grew, I found the need for significance and pressure led to demand and a game of constant catch up. But more than anything, I could no longer find myself present. By present, I mean I could no longer experience things in life purely and simply. I would focus on capturing the experience, filled with mental shot sheets, Instagram edits, and content creation. I had forgotten how to be present. Present for the sake of being present. I couldn’t go on adventure without the need to capture something. Relishing in beauty for beauty’s sake was something that had become a foreign concept. While I didn’t want (and still hate to) admit it, I had allowed anxiety and self-inflicted pressure to creep back in upon something that started well intentioned and carefree. Maybe you’ve come to notice this as well? During this travel season, I have come to discover that life has been filled with mental blocks. While my spiritual and emotional process has been full and worthwhile this year, it has left little time and capacity for this space, often leaving feeds neglected and vacant for periods of time.

This break has taught me a few things.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to connection and experience. Yes, SoCal was amazing. But more than anything I was amazed by the stories I found, the people I encountered, and the beauty of humanity. I found myself involved in simple faith, childlikeness, and enjoying the art of play again. There’s something about returning to great design, intentional spaces, and the ocean that brings things back. I found myself constantly inspired by the food, fashion, and excellent branding around every corner. Not to mention playing in the ocean and being stretched in my current mindsets. (I think I’ll be processing this past travel season for awhile. There will be a few posts shedding light on some of these experiences.)

But more than anything, I’m giving myself permission. Permission to create things I love in this space and in this season. Permission to allow the blog to mirror my season of life, rather than forcing something that feels less than authentic, trying to constantly keep up. I’m giving myself permission to create without boundaries and fear. More than anything, I’m giving myself permission to live. Living beautifully without the need to constantly curate every moment. To enjoy the waves or the sand, the next meal, or adventure without needing to capture it. Instead, I will choose engage with life, where my retina is the lens, my tastebuds the palette, and the images and colors of each season will remain beautifully etched on my mind.

What does this mean around here?

Posts will be consistent but will be around 3 times a week, rather than every day of the week.

I want to keep creating great content, but also want a bit more breathing room. Posting everyday will only happen seasonally.

I promised a site redesign, which I’ve been working hard on, but am giving myself until the beginning of summer to complete. This will give me a great project to work on, but not at the end of the school year.

I’ll be playing around with content creation and my style. While I love branding and identity, the blog has felt a bit more boxed in lately than I would like to admit. It’s time to play with different media, break out brushes, pens, and explore what I loved about this space to begin with.

In this season, I’m learning the art of being present and finding significance within each and every moment. The pressure’s off and I can create fiercely and fearlessly again. What this will look like? I have no idea, but I’m excited for the adventure ahead.

What has been going on in your world? I’d love to hear from you. Let me know in the comments below.


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